Dad's update

I'm going to visit my mom in Las Vegas this weekend. It will be great to see her. She has gotten much older these past few months since Opa died. her health seems fine, although she still does not sleep as much as before. But mentally and emotionally she has little life...probably depressed and overwhelmed going at life as a widow. She still is seeking for a new purpose to her life. She believes, as we do, that God will take her home when her work on this earth has been accomplished, but she just doesn't know what that work is. I feel sad for her.

Otherwise, drama reigns in the Onken family east of the California border. Ruby has her angioplasty. Successful! Third in 4-1/2 years! The spots found on her lung by x-ray were not there when a CAT scan was performed. WOW! Spots on the lung 99% of the time means lung cancer. Another miracle! However, she continues to smoke! I can't believe it. I'm so mad, and disappointed in her. She says it is hard, and that she has cut back. For every 4 cigarettes she used to smoke, now she only smokes three. Her doctor, she tells me, told her this was OK, but that completely quitting was better.

I've learned from this that I often also settle for less than what is best for me, rationalizing that "good" is fine and that I can live without "the best". I also see that what might be good for me in the present will often not remain good for me in the future. IN fact, what is good in the present will probably be really bad for me in the future. For instance, my health. I never worried about my diet before, and that was good because I seldom, if ever, got sick. But now, in the future of my past, I find I have high blood pressure, nothing serious, and high cholesterol. What was good for me in the past has betrayed me today. I wonder what other things, attitudes, feelings, etc seem good for me today but will betray me in my future.

The ultimate question, I guess, is whether things that seem good today, already a compromise from getting the best, really are good for me at all. Or whether it is a false reality I create by compromising and settling for things that are merely "good".

The drama with Dennis is another, very long story for another entry. Needless to say, what I learned from his experiences is that anger, if unresolved, festers into something very ugly that everyone, except the angry person, sees and suffers from. More on these adventures later.

I am so luck to have you all as my family. I am honored to be associated with each of you. You enrich my life.

Dad