Father's Day

So do you think it's really lame that I enjoy reading my new friend Kacy's blog? I mean how weird is it that I am so entertained by this woman's on line journal that I try to learn more about her and think of her as my new friend? Pretty weird, I know. But in the midst of my jumping around on various links as I follow her recent adventures (she's just returned from girl's camp and I think her birthday was yesterday) I found this very funny thing which must be someone Kacy knows; all I know is that I laughed out loud and I highly recommend it. But don't have milk in your mouth when you start to watch. You don't want to have that come out of your nose or spray all over the keyboard. Yuck.

Today is Father's Day. As I read a few essays in the paper this morning I am struck once again by the realization of how much I really like men - and I mean that in the best of ways. One of the essays talked about men becoming irrelevant or marginalized because of their brutish ways. I don't see that at all. Men are just wonderful the way they are and my particular man, Martin, is a perfect case in point. So here's a short and not at all comprehensive list of the things I love about men and why the one I picked for my own and to be the father of my children is so wonderful:

1. Men are strong. If that sounds politically incorrect and a sell out of my liberated female self, well so be it. I love that men can do things physically that I cannot do. They do physical things that I don't WANT to do. Like change a tire, or take out the trash or open hard to open bottles, or move heavy things. It makes me feel secure and protected in some odd way. And while I could (and do) do many of those things as necessary, it's a nice feeling when a man does them for you.

2. Men are helpless. I know that sounds completely contradictory to the above statement but it's really about the particular ways in which they are helpless. For instance, men rarely can find anything without assistance, even things that are right in front of their noses. At times this can be an irritating trait, but often it is amusing and endearing. It reminds me of a story told by Marlo Thomas about her then cross-country marriage to Phil Donahue. She said it would drive her crazy that Phil would call her to ask her where his blue socks were, but it made her even crazier that she knew just where they were. Or how about Dad's total inability to distinguish colors? Just this morning before he went to his bishopric meeting he asked me if his tie matched his suit pants (it did) and then I had to point out to his that his butt was covered with Punkin fur. These are small things and I have to admit that if Dad were as helpless as I hear some men are, it might not be so endearing, but overall it helps me feel like the two of us are part of a team. He does some stuff, I do other stuff - like make sure he doesn't have fur on his butt.

3. Men are simple. As in not complicated. They have a very direct way of looking at things. It's not that I always agree with the man's take on life because they do miss the nuances and the underlying issues or messages, but frankly that's not always a bad thing. They can cut through the you-know-what and get straight at a thing without the emotional anguish and uncertainty that comes with feminine intuition and sensitivity. And having raised two of each of the sexes I have a real appreciation for that straightforward lack of drama that comes with the Y chromosome.

4. Men are problem solvers. Once I figured that out about men, married life got a lot easier. I had to learn that men are not mind readers and are not likely to intuit what you want and need. But if you put it to them plainly, they really do want to make you happy. They like a task, they equate themselves to the task, it's what they "do". I also learned that if you do not want them to solve your problems, you have to tell them that: "Honey, just listen, do not try to fix it." In that way you give them a task (listening) that they can apply themselves to and you don't get angry when they use their uncomplicated, simple approach (see point 3 above) to try and fix what you don't want them to fix (because it's so complicated!)

5. Men know weird but useful stuff. I'm not saying that knowing all these sports statistics is useful. But I like that men know things about electricity or cars or algebra or physics. Now I realize that these may be things that are particular to my man. I'm certain that there are many men out there that know far less about these kinds of things than their women do. But then I'm sure that their women picked them for whatever weird but useful stuff they DO know.

Which I guess brings me to the bottom line . . . thank goodness men are not like women; thank goodness that we're like two halves of a whole and are able to balance each other out most of the time.

And especially I am grateful for my husband who is kind and patient and generous to me and to his children, who never hesitated to change a diaper or rock a sick child and who actively and lovingly parented his children through the years and still does.

Honey, you're the BEST of men and I'm glad you're mine.

Now what?

It's always the weirdest feeling to me to finish a school year and suddenly feel depressed instead of happy and full of energy. It's just hard to change gears and find a new focus. Today I've been sifting through the mountain of papers I'd accumulated this quarter trying to decide what to keep and file and what to throw away. First grade is up: an A+ in pharmacology for the quarter. Not that I did that great on the final . . . I got a 98 out of 109 . . . that's a lot of questions to miss and that doesn't count the 4 she threw out. But my class ranking out of 99 scores was either 11 or 8. (I can't understand actually why it says only 8 people got a 90% or above, which is my percentage, but then said my class ranking is 11 - whatever). I know I got an A in my clinical class so now it's just the dreaded disease of the week class. I dreamt about that final all last night and got progressively more anxious about it. I'm trying to resign myself to the probable B I will get for this class. Not a huge deal, but it would have been nice to have the 4.0!

I am going to make a list for myself about what some of the things are I want to accomplish this summer. I'm hoping that will give me a focus. One of them is to shed the 15 lbs. I've gained since last October!! I have to get back to the gym. Skyler said he'd come and help train me!

Cleo just asked me if I would mind them planting a hydrangea plant near the trash can corral. I love hydrangeas!

Lynda and I are going to Disneyland on Thursday. She'll come in on Wednesday evening and spend the night here. I'm looking forward to it. I figure I've deserve a little break before starting work.

Institute last night

Institute last night was an occassion for mixed feelings. it was the last class for the currnet teachers, as we completed study of the New Testament. These teachers have a strong testimony, and love the students in our ward. Unfortunately, they are just about the worst teachers I have ever seen. I expressed this concern to the bishop & high counsel some months ago. As a result, a high counselor and a couple of local CES administrators were sent to the class on several occassions at separate times to observe. To make a long story short, the teachers submitted their resignation (CEs teaching is not a calling, but an appointment) so after.
I feel like I caused them to be offended and quit. Although I know in my mind that we need better teachers, I feel bad that they most likely quit because of the stir I caused.

Thursday!

I'm living for Thursday. My last final. Skyler comes home. It can't get much better than that.

Hey Nick, after you left, dad came home and guess what he was wearing? Ha ha ha . . .

Please remember me in your prayers . . . pharm final tomorrow (it's cumulative!). My brain is full.

Love mom

Library

This article talks about a library that, through their website, offers Audio Book rentals. You download the audiobook and can burn it to CDs, put it on your MP3 player, etc. Click here.

WOW! What a Birthday

I can't tell you how much fun I had celebrating my birthday with you all yesterday!
OK, I will.
Among all the happy making things of life, there really is the GREATEST joy in your family. Part of that greatness is that despite the many issues in life we all have, sometime even with eachother, we are able to put them aside when something important comes up, like a birthday celebration. I helps me understand how much "nobility" we each have.
There really is a GREAT joy in sharing yourself with those who honor & have affection for you. I felt a lot of that yesterday.
There is GREAT joy in being grateful to family & friends who have done something for you, as you all did for me. Knowing it was given generously, without strings.
There is great joy in preparing and having it succeed, especially when you do it together.
There is GREAT joy in having your affection for eachother grow as you experience wholesome, events together.
There is GREAT joy in having a new member of the family, pitching in even with vacuuming the dreaded stairs! Thanks Jamie!!
There is GREAT joy in having Debi as my eternal spouse, I was reminded of that during several reflective moments these past two days.
Thank you again for the many really important gifts each of you gave me.
Some statistics:
SATAY: 20 lbs of pork butt (5 lbs of fat removed); cut into approx 1400 pieces, 1/2' each; enought to make 150-200 satays, actually made 360; 5 hrs for cutting, approx. 3 hrs putting the meat onto the sticks; 3 hrs to BBQ them;
Fried Wontons (Panceit): 5 lbs ground pork; 8 packages of wonton skins; enough to make 200 panceits, actually made over 400; started frying at 1:45, finsihed frying 6:15.
SODA: 13 bottles, & about 20 cans
Peanut sauce (Pitchil): I didn't see mom make it, but we bought 3 big jars of peanut butter, probably made more than 1 gallon;
Vegatables: I guess about 20 lbs here also, maybe more.
PEOPLE; we're guessing over 50 altogether
1st arriveal: Paul Church, about 2:45, 45 min early
last to leave: Tie, Blair & Nathan, around 11:30pm
Ate the most: my personal vote: Brian Anderson
Ate the least: Brea Haley (didn't eat alt all, I don't think)
Highest anxiety: Mom, she wanted it to be perfect for everyone, plus anticipating finals this week. Thanks, Babe!!
Lease anxiety: Punkin, we let her outside more & more, now. She's in heaven sunning herself.
Nicest surprise: Alecia helped a lot with clean up & entertaining Eli
Most beautiful women: Tie, Natalie, Chelsea, Jamie & Debi
Love you all.
Dad

Stop having fun without me!

On my way to another day at the salon. Nick as always is getting ready with me and is going to take me to work so I don't have to drive for hours looking for a parking space. He says I act like a five year old whenever I go to work.:( "I don't want to go, can I stay home? etc. And then I look in the lunch he brought for me and I see pudding and instantly I get excited about one thing and it is much easier to get me out of the car. I sound like I hate my job, but thats not it. I just hate the effort it takes me to get out of bed and get dressed and get to work. I am not like this everyday, mostly just on Saturdays. Probably because I know Nick is home and that if i can somehow stay home I can have fun with all the other people who get to stay home on saturdays. And of course I know everyone is having fun without me.
Well Nick has to wait for the comcast guy today from 1-5. I guess thats not very fun. Debi I'm excited about having yummy food tomorrow,thanks to Martin getting one year older! well I hope you all have a fun filled Saturday without me.
Jamie

New York! New York!

Okay, I just booked tickets for Chelsea and me. We're leaving 8/8 and returning 8/15. That means we're leaving the day after Natalie and I get back from a long weekend quilting with Lynda and Emily and returning the first day of Moorpark's fall semester. Chelsea will just have to miss her first day of classes. Of course I still haven't figured out exactly where we're staying or what we will be doing when we get there - lots of planning to do. Anyone have any suggestions on that? Gotta start looking for a hotel at least. I think we might be able to get away without renting a car and just using mass transit.

I have a hair appointment in the morning on Saturday so will probably start on the cooking around noon time. If you can help, I'll see you there.

The furniture guy came and at least the sectional pieces line up better now. He's going to try and order a new seat cover for one of the cushions that I think is sewn poorly.

Let's Do It (Let's Fall in Love)

Ever since I watched that movie De-Lovely last Saturday, Alannis Morrisette has been driving me crazy. If she doesn't shut up soon I'm going to have to take desperate measures.

As for the menu suggestions . . . You didn't pick up on my not so subtle whining about the work involved with satays. Oh no. Now you've added pancits and lumpias to the menu. So in the spirit of compromise (and with the knowledge that you have all offered to provide free labor to this effort) I'm proposing: satays with pitjel of course, gado gado, rice, and pancits. Oh and that cucumber stuff that has a name but I don't remember what (ask Dad). I will have to borrow one of those big steel inserts from the warming thing at church to make enough rice. I think rice will be less labor intensive than bami. We will have to run a satay and pancit factory (Nick can fold those little boats:) on Saturday. But it can be done! Of course we should probably have some Debi Dip, sodas, and some kind of dessert, too. Waddayathink?

Today is my last day of the quarter - we're having a meal over at my clinical instructor's home in the Marina. I'm bringing Debi Dip and that spinach salad we all know and love. Next week I have finals . . . one on Tuesday (pharmacology) and one on Thursday (on angina and heart failure) which means a lot of studying for the next little bit until I can officially say I am half way through the program.

not so good news

My aunt passed away last night around 9. When my family left her yesterday the nurse told them it would be very soon, within the next 48 hours if not sooner. So, even though you know it is coming it still hits you pretty hard. Which I'm sure you all understand. Well at least she is in a better place and she isn't in pain anymore. She must have hated to think of what she was leaving behind. A daughter who can't take care of herself and a grandson who is in foster care. She was the only family he really knew, since she had taken care of him since he was a baby and a few years ago went into foster care. Its just very sad.
Debi, thank you for all your help and info that you were so willing to give. I know my parents really appreciate it. (they have told me they do on many occasions)
Well, anyway I bought our tickets today and they already went up from yesterday! We are going to be gone from Dec. 29 to Jan. 9 ( debi, we get back at 4 in the aftternoon) It is a few more days than I was planing but its cheaper if we leave and come during the week. I am excited it will be a lot of fun. Well I hope you all have a good day. -Jamie

p.s
Debi we enjoyed the chesse and quilts yesterday!

Vanilla with Magic Shell instead

Not that any of you were ANY help at all when I asked about ice cream for Break the Fast. And of course I discovered last night that I am the butt of jokes in the family. I have secretly suspected this for years but now thanks to Jamie and Nick I know it's true. All of these years of laughter are not because I'm so clever and witty. Oh no! Hmmph. Well I can tell you what that means. It means I'm certainly better qualified to appear on the Discovery Channel's 100 most important Americans list than any of you. I mean if Madonna, Tom Cruise, Michael Moore, Michael Jackson and Ellen DeGeneres can be on that list, then it's pretty clear what the American public thinks is important in terms of historical contributions to this country. And none of it involves discovering a cure for cancer or inventing a pollution free, self-sustaining energy source or that kind of boring stuff. Making a spectacle of yourself seems to be quite enough, thank you very much!

It's much too pretty ouside to be stuck in here with the computer and my pharmacology books. But since the computer is grafted to my hip what can I do? LOL!!! Okay, okay, it's true.

BBQ next Sunday for Dad's birthday. Still debating the menu. Dad would like satay. Who wouldn't? The bigger question is, if it's satay and we have invited the whole single's ward plus more, just how many satays are we talking here? Maybe more than we would like to think about. I'm open for opinions. And if we have satays, what ELSE? Now I hope you'll all be more help in this decision than you were on the ice cream question.

Natalie, do you need earplugs to sleep at night?

Well I am almost off to work, but before i go i thought i would like to blog. Debi i really enjoyed your last blog! It made Nick and I laugh a lot! Yesterday was a hard day for me. I went to Forest Lawn with my Dad and grandma to finish all the arrangements for the funeral. Then I went to visit my aunt. She doesn't look good at all. It was really very sad. You can't even see her anymore, she just looks likes she is gone already. I feel mostly sad for my grandma and I can see it taking a tole on my Dad. But I am glad I went so I could say bye. Well, I have to be going now. I have a ton of updo's for proms today. have a good day eveeryone!

Glad some people can sleep

So I am totally all alone and it's 1:25 a.m. and I'm not asleep as you can see. Tonight I decided to take myself to the movies but I didn't want to see anything that Dad might want to see with me so I watched Madagascar - which was very clever and had parts in there I know that no one under the age of 45 would get, including a reference to a great scene from Planet of the Apes (when Charlton Heston discovers the ruins of the Statute of Liberty "Da*n them") and a brief reference to the old Twilight Zone episode "To Serve Man" (It's a cookbook, stupid!). I ate popcorn with butter on it and a whole bag of peanut M&M's and a large diet coke and when the movie was over I thought "what the heck" and I got a free refill of my diet coke and bought another ticket, this time to see The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I also got a "gourmet" pretzel for $4 (!!!!) dollars. So all that was my garbage dinner tonight. The Pants movie was entertaining, definitely a chick flick and one to go and see with your girlfriends. But I don't have any girlfriends that live nearby. Well, Lisa of course but this was such a spontaneous thing or I would have called her. The movie was filled with giggling teenyboppers. And when I got home I found that I had missed a visit from the Awesome Ones. Darn, darn, darn. Then I played several rounds of Snood (evil level) and then I spent some time reading more of my new friend Kacy's blog - including one entry in which she mentions a band called The Killers who has a lead singer who is a bad boy Mormon. So I found a website with some of their music and found that I really like their music and decided I should buy their CD next time I go out. Maybe tomorrow when I got get the ice cream (how about neopolitan?) for Break the fast. You know, maybe it's not just grad school that's putting the weight on me. Maybe it's serving in the Singles Ward!!!!! Or maybe it's going to the movies.

Did I mention that Skyler got a big packet from Westpoint in the mail? I burned it of course. :P

Okay maybe I'll try to go to bed now.

In case you're wondering

Where all your bedding has gone . . . I am the "Artist of the Month" over at the Quilt Emporium! I took a bunch of quilts over there today and they started hanging them all over the store. It's a weird feeling to look up and see mine, Skyler's, Chelsea's and Nick's "bedspreads" hanging on the walls. On Monday evening starting at 5:00 p.m. there will be an official wine and cheese open house with me "explaining" my quilts. I would love if everyone would come. To get an idea of what they're doing, check out the Quilt Emporium web page: http://www.quiltemporium.com/artistopen.htm.

Dad took off for LV today and Chelsea is spending the weekend house sitting with Alesia. I'm all by my lonesome. While is probably not so bad for me because I have a bunch of studying (what else?) that I need to catch up on. After next week, I'll have two finals and then NO SCHOOL UNTIL OCTOBER!!! I can hardly wait.

I did let work know that I will soon be available to earn some money. Which we'll need considering that I want to go with Chelsea to New York in August and then Dad and I will be going to Venezuela in December/January. And of course by then Skyler will be off on his mission. Where is the money tree when you need it? I am going to have to opt out of Asilomar next year because there's no way I can do everything. :(

Fast Sunday this Sunday and I'm in charge of ice cream. Vanilla or chocolate?

Dad's update

I'm going to visit my mom in Las Vegas this weekend. It will be great to see her. She has gotten much older these past few months since Opa died. her health seems fine, although she still does not sleep as much as before. But mentally and emotionally she has little life...probably depressed and overwhelmed going at life as a widow. She still is seeking for a new purpose to her life. She believes, as we do, that God will take her home when her work on this earth has been accomplished, but she just doesn't know what that work is. I feel sad for her.

Otherwise, drama reigns in the Onken family east of the California border. Ruby has her angioplasty. Successful! Third in 4-1/2 years! The spots found on her lung by x-ray were not there when a CAT scan was performed. WOW! Spots on the lung 99% of the time means lung cancer. Another miracle! However, she continues to smoke! I can't believe it. I'm so mad, and disappointed in her. She says it is hard, and that she has cut back. For every 4 cigarettes she used to smoke, now she only smokes three. Her doctor, she tells me, told her this was OK, but that completely quitting was better.

I've learned from this that I often also settle for less than what is best for me, rationalizing that "good" is fine and that I can live without "the best". I also see that what might be good for me in the present will often not remain good for me in the future. IN fact, what is good in the present will probably be really bad for me in the future. For instance, my health. I never worried about my diet before, and that was good because I seldom, if ever, got sick. But now, in the future of my past, I find I have high blood pressure, nothing serious, and high cholesterol. What was good for me in the past has betrayed me today. I wonder what other things, attitudes, feelings, etc seem good for me today but will betray me in my future.

The ultimate question, I guess, is whether things that seem good today, already a compromise from getting the best, really are good for me at all. Or whether it is a false reality I create by compromising and settling for things that are merely "good".

The drama with Dennis is another, very long story for another entry. Needless to say, what I learned from his experiences is that anger, if unresolved, festers into something very ugly that everyone, except the angry person, sees and suffers from. More on these adventures later.

I am so luck to have you all as my family. I am honored to be associated with each of you. You enrich my life.

Dad

Whats up with you guys?

You guys are sooooo boring! I come to to this blog to see some lame thing someone wrote and there are no new posts! I am so disapointed in all of you.

The world of Mormon Blogs

Ah me. I am avoiding studying. I am enjoying reading bits and pieces from the many, many LDS blogs out there on the WWW. Today I found a new friend. Her name is Kacy and she is hysterically funny. Check her out! I'm going to keep an eye on what she posts. She's almost as funny as Marie.

Natalie's new place

Is darling! Congratulations honey on your first "all your own" apartment. I'd love to help you decorate it when you get all those boxes organized.

The furniture repair guy came and our sectional is now officially hooked together. He also fixed some of the other little things (like staples that were poking out). He didn't speak much english but brought he daughter along to translate. She was very sweet, but all dressed up in Goth style. Anyway he did say that I spent too much money to have furniture with such poor workmanship. I'm going to call Reeds on Tuesday and complain to them on general principle about the shoddy workmanship and quality control of Robert Michael (the furniture manufacturer.)

Today is the Shisley wedding and reception. I will make an appearance and give them some money as a gift. I need to work on some pharmacology study guides.

I'm so glad that yesterday was my last clinical day for the quarter. I'm really looking forward to summer. I think next Wednesday I'll stop by the office and give them my hours so I can earn some money. Chelsea we need to plan exactly when we're going to go to New York so I can plan around that. And Natalie, we may have to figure something out for our August date with Lynda and Emily in Palm Springs, now that Grandma has disowned me. Although maybe you can borrow the keys instead of me. :)

Skyler it was great talking with you on the phone last night. You should post some of it to fill in the rest of the family!

Love mom

California_Screamin_1

California_Screamin_1
Originally uploaded by debionken.

This is the one in the Jesse montage.

potatohead

potatohead
Originally uploaded by debionken.

Now who are these lovely ladies?