Skyler and Sarah are Engaged!

August 15th, 2009 - save the date!

I'm glad I am not the one who has to choose from the multitude of beautiful engagement photos Tracy took. Here's a sampling:

June already

Man, I am not too good at keeping this thing up. So, what do I have to say for myself? Not a whole lot:

(1) I began my summer elective course "Spirituality at the End of Life" - an interesting course, but I would rather have a summer vacation. Still, only one class and I am not going to kill myself at it. But I'd rather spend my time reading the Robert Jordan Wheel of Time series that Nick got me going on, and doing some quilting. I have a couple of quilts just begging for bindings and a few other projects that beckon to me.

(2) Work is good but I know that in a few months I will be transferred to a much less desirable location. However, I will be with a physician that I enjoy working with and that part is good. Had a fun night last night getting together with the "girls" from work and talking about things only nurse practitioners can really appreciate! I sure wish I was 20 years younger and time to spare to put into action some of the visionary ideas we can come up with when we talk about changing the face of elder care in this country.

(3) Andrew is the cutest baby in the entire world and has now entered my very favorite period of infancy - officially 8 mos old, just when they really start to get fun. At least I have a couple more months with him before they whisk him off to Boston.

(4) Nick and Jamie have a lease on a place in Boston and will be leaving at the end of August. Nick is an official college graduate!!

(5) Natalie is doing well and while she still hasn't built up her massage therapy clientele enough to pay the bills, I have confidence that she will get there eventually. She is SO good at what she does. (And very affordable right now, so if you want a massage for a good price, give her a call.)

(6) Chelsea and Trenton celebrated their one year anniversary by taking a trip to New York City. They had a blast and also ran a very special errand for Skyler while they were there. More news on that part soon. Chelsea is off of school for the summer, Trent has a summer course.

(7) Skyler is going year round at BYU-I but we had a quick visit from him and his girlfriend Sarah and Sarah's parents this week, they were headed to a family wedding. That's the most that I can say right now - wink, wink - I sure miss that kid.

(8) Martin is working hard as usual. He got braces on his teeth about a month ago and he is suffering with all that entails, including not being able to eat a lot of things he enjoys, poor baby. They anticipate 18 months of work. I'm sure he'll be even more handsome than ever, but more importantly his dental health will be improved!

(9) Most of us will be going to Texas for 4th of July for a family reunion. This came up suddenly and I only have a few days, Martin will probably not be able to go since with Trent and Chels going, if he goes that will leave only Randy at the office during a holiday weekend. It's hard to be in the vacation business sometimes :)

(10) I have some fabulous photos to share . . . soon!

I guess that's it for now!

My Favorite Baby

Finished!

For better or worse I submitted my final project in my Knowledge Management class. Now I will keep my fingers crossed that it is adequate and that I will pass the class. If so, then I will be able to say I have finished my second semester, and first year, of my doctoral program. I do have to take a course this summer but I expect it to be fairly easy. It is a class about spirituality and end of life care. I'm sure there will be papers to write. Still, it shouldn't be too bad. I never could have finished this last class project without the help of my generous and smart husband who helped me tremendously. Thank you sweetheart!

I am in such a mood to have a vacation. Dad and I are talking about making arrangements to go to Idaho for the 4th of July to celebrate Skyler's birthday and see his school. I'd really like to sneak away to Hawaii or someplace similar for a few days but that isn't in the cards. I am looking forward to summer and maybe some nice BBQ parties with friends.

What's the news . . . Skyler got his cast off, but he's still got some healing time ahead of him. And his arm now has a new interesting feature. You'll have to ask him to see the video. Natalie is working a lot for Mark DiPadova, which is good. Chelsea has been sick, but looking forward to getting finals out of the way this next week. Trenton also getting ready for finals. Both of them have been helping the Haavets out as they are in transition moving from here to there. Jamie has been sick, too, but hopefully on the mend. Nick has only a couple weeks more and then he is officially graduated from CSULB. He leaves for Boston to scout a new place to live in a couple of weeks. Andrew is of course growing cuter every day. Dad gets his braces next week!

I'm on call next weekend but we'll do something to commemorate Mom's Day and Jamie's first Mother's Day!

April

I realize I am not too good at keeping this thing up! So here's a brief "what's been happening" with the Onkens:

(1) Went to General Conference at the beginning of April - got a chance to visit with the Arnells which was really fun and not long enough.
(2) Got to have Skyler home for a week between semesters and got to spend more time with his girlfriend Sarah (who is a delight!)
(3) Natalie graduated from her Massage Therapy program, already got a part time job, and has just generally been delightful. She really seems to be pulling her life together and I am happy for her.
(4) Got to buy the cutest clothes for Andrew (who simply gets more adorable all the time, and definitely KNOWS his NANA!!)
(5) Chelsea and Trent moved to Simi, which sucks for me, but I think they like their new apartment.
(6) School really STINKS! I have only a few more weeks left in the semester and I am really struggling with this one stupid class which requires me to teach myself Excel.
(7) Changing my job locale has been the right decision. However it is not without some stresses - namely, breaking in a new doc. However I enjoy my colleague NP Julie and I like the facility and just in general I am enjoying my new situation.
(8) Need I mention Skyler's compound fracture? No.
(9) I need and want to take a vacation!!!!!

Asilomar report

My latest story quilt is small scale (just a bit larger than "Nana in Waiting"). The inspiration is an old photo of Chelsea and Skyler when they were very small playing rock and roll band with the neighbor girls Katie and Carrie Ockander. They were using various toys as instruments, including an old Fisher Price toy vacuum. I am calling it "Joyful Noise" - although at first I thought I would call it "I'm just a singer in a Rock n Roll Band."

I also finished piecing the turtle quilt I made for Andrew - THE hardest darned quilt ever. I'll post photos later. I'm still suffering post traumatic shock from working on it.

I even have an inspiration for my NEXT story quilt, but you'll have to wait to hear about that one . . .

Asilomar was as gorgeous and therapeutic as ever. Actually more so because it was just 9 good friends, no teachers, no pressures, just food, chocolate, fabric and laughter.

While I am sure Jamie will be posting this photo of Andrew on her blog, I just had to share it here. Isn't he the cutest?

Life is Change

This image is not how I am feeling at the moment, but I must say that when I found it elsewhere on the web, it evoked a strong feeling of compassion in me. I have felt like this in the past and I have certainly been attendant when people I care about have felt like that. Most strongly it reminds me of how my own children have expressed their frustrations with life when they were too young to express themselves any other way. I suppose that is part of what I am a witness to these days. Young people trying very hard to make their way in life, unable to see beyond their own immediate needs in their very strong desire to make their mark on the world and in life. One of the interesting things about getting older is realizing that on the grand scale, this is a futile desire and ultimately not a very important goal. It's the smaller scale, the quick and subtle moments and opportunities that arise in human interaction that really matter: the warm smile, the meeting of eyes in silent communication, the passing comment of appreciation, the hug that lasts just a few seconds longer, the careless toss of an arm around the shoulder, or the out-of-the-blue, for no-reason-at-all phone call. A friend recently posted on her facebook page that the best feeling for her is when she realizes she has been missed. I concur.

The last few days I have been thinking about people I miss. I miss my father. Some mornings as I am reluctant to get out of bed and want to bury myself down into the pillows I hear his (annoyingly) cheerful singing "It's time to get up, it's time to get up, it's time to get up in the morning," and I instinctively draw in my feet to avoid the coming tickle. I miss my friend Marie who I can sometimes hear say "oh Debi, WHY do you care? Let's go have a diet coke at Taco Bell." I wish I could pick up the phone and call them. I do have people I miss whom I CAN call. When emailing is not enough and I need the calm and gentle wisdom of my friend Carolyn, I do pick up the phone just to hear her voice. Even with my own kids, who I am sure feel that they hear from me all to often, I sometimes just want to hear their voices, to know that they are okay wandering around out there in that big world. Of course I know they are okay, maybe it's really me that feels MORE okay when I recharge my "mom" battery by checking in on them.

Life is change, but we don't always have to like it. Mostly though, it is good. I like my life, I like what I am doing in the moment. I see myself becoming more like my own mother, for better or for worse, and it makes me realize how inevitable the turning of the wheel of time really is. It echoes the truth in the mother's curse - that you, like your children after you, will eventually have all the experiences, the good and the bad, that the generations before have had. Like my friend Marie used to say (and she understood this better than most) "try to live your life so you won't have any regrets." I have seen the truth of this in the years I have worked in hospice. And I think working with the very old, as I do, makes me more aware of how important it is to try and understand the other person's point of view in things, to make space for others (it isn't always about YOU), to give up that need for control of everything and just appreciate the gifts of the moments we have with each other. I am constantly surrounded by people who have the need to control everything. The photo above reminds me of them. I see them at work and sometimes in my family relationships. And I want to say to them "just stop, you will exhaust yourself, it isn't important in the long run, trust that you matter, trust that others care, trust that in the end this too shall pass . . ."

Life is change, appreciate the constancy of those you love and who love you.

Cold Day!

I'm freezing, Martin is "boiling" and so goes our typical weekend. I thought I'd write quickly about the last two weeks. Last week was my final week in Ventura County. It was marked by several farewell lunches with colleagues and friends and a special farewell at Camarillo Health Care. I took them a large sheetcake to thank the staff for all their hard work and they presented me with a lovely wall clock with a plaque. It was really touching and a bit extravagant. I will miss them. My friend Ruby presented me with this wonderful photo in a frame and she had many people sign the frame with little goodbye notes. Very sweet. I will especially miss Dr. Anu Maganti and the lovely relationship we built as friends and colleagues. I learned so much from her over the past two years.

On Monday I started at my new place. It is quite an adjustment to be in one single place all day long and have an office, with a desk, where I can leave things permanently and not carry my entire professional universe in the pockets of my lab coat. It is also odd to be working with several other Kaiser people on the premises all the time. The doc I work with, Samuel Lim, is a very different person and has very different approaches than Maganti. That will take some adjusting. But overall the relief I feel and the reduction in my stress levels being away from that horrible Lisa and in a department that will get out of my way and let me do my job is palpable. I have had a couple of phone calls from Li-Chym and Halimeh (two of the NPs from the west side) to tell me of continuing antics by Lisa. All confirming that I made the right decision in making this move. I will be at Country Villa Sheraton in North Hills until August at which time I will probably be moved over to CV Woodman when Shayam Randeria finally makes his move over to the east side. Then he and I will be a team. I know he's anxious to join me on the east. He already called me this week to see how things were going. I told him GREAT!

Tomorrow morning I leave for a much needed vacation. I am headed up to Asilomar for my quilt week. This time I will be in a small group of personal friends and we are not participating in the Empty Spools Seminar, but instead we're just on our own. I'm excited about this. I will bring Andrew's turtle quilt up with me and hopefully make some headway on that. I will need to think about another project to bring. I would really like to do another small story quilt - even using the black and white palette I used for Nana in Waiting. I don't have a story in mind, but that doesn't matter. I just like having a story quilt to work on. So I need to pack and I'm procrastinating. I've been working on some of my school work and have more to do so I can spend the week up in beautiful Pacific Grove without worrying too much about homework.

I've really fallen off the diet wagon and have gained several pounds. The weather has also interfered with my new running program so I have lots of excuses. A week in Asilomar is not going to make it better. I'm having to reschedule my sessions with Troy the trainer to 6 AM with my new work schedule. Ugh, the price of trying to stay trim and healthy! None of which will stop me from eating popcorn at the movies tonight :)

A new year

I really don't have much to post, but it has been awhile so I thought I would at least write a line or two. The new year has started with a bang. I have made the decision to transfer from the Woodland Hills department back to the Panorama City department. This decision was made due to problems with the new administrator of the Woodland Hills department. I am lucky that I have the opportunity to return to my old team and they are excited that I am coming back. Now that I've made the decision, I'm anxious to make the move. I'm hoping that I will hear something about the transfer this week and have a definite transfer date!

School has started for me and I'm having the hardest time getting myself back into the study groove. I wonder if I will have to fight myself through this whole program. I think the distance learning thing is just so time consuming. I spend every evening on the computer reading and responding and all day on Saturday doing the same thing. I've had so much fun pleasure reading and sewing again during the Christmas break that I'm not so happy to give it all up again.

On the sewing front I did get Andrew's quilt back from the quilter and now I need to put the binding on. I also started another quilt for him that is turning out to be one of the hardest darned quilts I've ever made! I will work on it a little at a time and hope that over the next few months I am able to put it together. Luckily Lisa has set up a twice a month quilting get together at her house and that will ensure I get at least a little sewing done every month.

I'm excited for Natalie and her new massage therapy school and plans. I got a chance to talk to her tonight and I think she sounds really good. Trenton started back to school last week and he seems to like his new classes. I think he is hopeful that this is the last semester at Moorpark and will be able to transfer to CSUN next Fall. Chelsea is starting at CSUN next week. I'm excited for her and her new classes. This is the first semester she will be entirely at CSUN for all her classes. I talked to Skyler earlier in the week and he is loving all his military science classes and he's having his usual fun time up at school. He called me a few days ago just to play a song for me on the phone and sing to me. I sure miss that kid.

Todd and Sandy are having problems and he is staying with us for a few days until he figures things out. I like having him around.

Christmas Morning!

This year the family gathered a bit later in the morning as the kids traveled from their various abodes. We had our traditional Christmas breakfast BEFORE the gift opening:

Christmas Eve!

I am not good at all at taking photos so I only have a few things to share. This year was Skyler's first Christmas since returning from his mission. Christmas Eve we were joined by the Doolans, the Dubrow family and the Haavets. Chelsea and Trenton were MIA, spending their Christmas Eve with the Piersons. Still we had plenty of food and fun. I stole photos from Liza Dubrow's Facebook to share here:

Thanksgiving!

The Onkens all headed up to Lake Arrowhead for our every two year turkey get away. We're sorry that Natalie chose not to join us, we certainly missed her. The cabin was delightful and was situated on a running stream that actually ran under the house! We saw racoon tracks in the mud outside our front doors. The weather was cold and a little too windy for me, but although it had rained and apparently hailed on Wednesday, the rest of the week was lovely. We attempted a hike around the lake, but we didn't get very far. We took in the town and did a fair amount of window shopping. The cute bakery for dogs turned out to be a fun little shop and Scooter scored a holiday sweater, which it turned out, he really liked! He is a bigger weather wimp than I am.

On Saturday we went to Wildhaven, a wild animal rehabilitation center, and got to be up close and personal with bears, dear, coyotes, raccoons, bald eagles, golden eagles, owls, falcons and hawks. My personal favorites were the bears. Of course mostly what we did was eat, eat, eat. I really enjoy cooking for the whole family and we had plenty of delicious food. It was a special treat to have Chelsea do some cooking for us as well - apple cinnamon french toast strata for breakfast and rye crusted pork medallions for dinner - YUM.

We played some mean games of Uno, Apples to Apples, Wits and Wagers, and Settlers of Zarahemla. Skyler got to meet his nephew for the first time and we all got plenty of Andrew time.

Now of course it is time to repent of all the food I've eaten but it was worth every bite. Skyler is headed back to Idaho for a few more weeks until it is time to come back again for Christmas. I have the big push on for the next few weeks to finish up a lot of school assignments and then I'll be able to think about Christmas!

Skyler's Home!

Hooray for holidays! Skyler is home and will spend the first Thanksgiving in 2 years with the family. I can't wait for us to get away to Lake Arrowhead and just hang out together. Today I worked on menus, made shopping lists and bought a ton of groceries. We may need a trailer just to haul it all up. I also bought some jacks and some pick up sticks and I'm going to pick up a deck of Uno. I am so excited to spend an entire long weekend (well at least a good 3 days plus) with my whole family, including my little grandbaby!

I'm teaching in Relief Society tomorrow. The lesson is from a May 2008 conference talk "Service, a Divine Quality" by Elder Carlos Amado. I will probably have a hard time filling the whole time with this lesson, but I did have an "aha" moment while preparing. Elder Amado quotes from John 6:26-27 - where Jesus exhorts the crowds who have come after the feeding of the 5,000 not to "labor" for the "meat that perishes" but to labor for the "meat which endures." He is referring to the fact that the crowds have shown up not because they witnesses a miracle in the loaves and fishes, but because they got fed! I didn't really understand what that had to do with service at first. Then I realized that there are many meanings in that little bit of scripture (aren't there always?). First, the service the Lord provided allowed an opportunity for Him to teach the gospel; second, service is a "miracle"; and third, the Lord was ful"filling" promises in "filling" (feeding) the crowd - service fulfills covenants. It is a great example of service as a "divine quality."

I'm glad the Proposition 8 stuff has started to calm down. It is so hard for people who do not practice an orthodoxy to understand how those who do. It is so representative of the situational ethics of most people. They can't imagine any time at which something simply is right or wrong and regardless of price, pain, consequence, a stand must be taken and upheld. No one on the traditional marriage side can not sympathize with the feelings on the other side. But when you believe that God has said that a thing is wrong, and you believe you have an obligation to walk, as best as you can, in the path that God has set, there simply are no other choices. It is hard sometimes to accept absolutes, but standing for a thing eventually makes you stronger if for no other reason than you learn just exactly what you yourself are made of. I am grateful for the opportunity I am currently having to have even a small bit of understanding what the early Saints (both old world and new) must have felt during their times of persecution.

Temper tantrums

The protesters today are just amazing me. They are proving to me all the more the reason that traditional marriages needed to be protected. Today I hear the hollering about taking away tax exempt status for the church because it dared to weigh in on a moral issue. If churches (and not just the LDS church, but other Christian churches as well as Muslims and Jews) can't speak out on moral issues, who can? If members of those religions can't vote their own convictions and provide funding for their beliefs, who can?

I believe that the homosexual movement won't be happy until God Himself comes down and changes the scriptures. And since that won't happen, nothing is going to create happiness for them, including marriage. But here's what shocks me more: they are mad that African Americans, Hispanics and other people of color didn't support them! And they think it is a discrimination equal to racism. What a lot of bunk. I think that the homosexual movement has slapped people of color in the face by trying to hijack civil rights as a homosexual issue. Homosexuality is a lifestyle choice. There is not a single replicated scientific study that shows otherwise. I realize that is contrary to popular belief, but it is fact. Popular belief is not fact. Theory is not proof. Science has not proved this is an inborn condition and yet there is plenty of evidence to suggest that it is a psychological disorder. It is certainly nothing even comparable to race and many people of color are offended by the attempt to correlate the two.

Deeply held moral and religious convictions are why Prop 8 succeeded - a fundamental belief in right and wrong. Not hate, not bigotry, not racism or anything akin to it. Sometimes, no matter how hard it is to take the medicine, no matter how childishly we want to deny it, there simply IS a right and a wrong. And when you choose incorrectly, you must be willing to accept the consequences. No one is stopping them from living their lifestyle, but one of the consequences of that lifestyle is not being able to marry. Temper tantrums won't change that.

If you want to see hate in action, take a look at what happens to ex-gays; they endure the most rabid hatred you've ever heard of and all of it directly from the gay community. http://www.pfox.org/equalrights.htm

Birthday Blessings

I had a lovely birthday weekend. It started with Martin taking me and the family (well, part of the family: Nick, Jamie, Andrew, Chelsea & Trenton) to Gladstones for dinner. I got to hold my baby for a LONG time! And Martin surprised me with an iPhone!! I am having a ton of fun learning how to operate it. Nick and Jamie gave me exactly what I asked for: a small brag book with real photos of my grandbaby to show off. After dinner Martin and I drove to Idyllwild up in the mountains. We stayed at a lovely B&B called Strawberry Creek. It was very pretty and quaint. On Saturday we took a nice long hike in through the woods and then came back into the small little town and shopped. Martin spoiled me rotten and I purchased a number of clothing items and a beautiful necklace and earrings made by an Apache Princess(!) who was delightful to visit with, a wonderful smelling candle developed by a local shop, some nice lotions made locally from goats' milk, and some old fashioned tin toys (for Andy). Martin bought one of those chainsaw carved bears to take to the office. Then he surprised me with a couples' massage - aaaahhhh. We had Chinese food for dinner and then went back to the B&B. In the morning after breakfast we headed back home, with a quick stop at King Taco to pick up some dinner and a stop at an AT&T store to switch my new phone to my old number. It was a greatly needed break and a really nice birthday trip.

Today, it was back to work as usual. On Friday I'll be down in Anaheim for a conference. School is still happening and I am still, so far, keeping up!

H8te Speech

I posted the following on Facebook today. I am tired of feeling like I have a target on my back and that it's okay to call me a hateful person. We've had a yard sign torn down and an anonymous hateful letter put in our mailbox. I invite intelligent debate, but I don't like people calling me hateful:

As I have continued to engage in dialogue with people regarding Proposition 8, I have become increasingly tired of being vilified and mischaracterized as a hateful person. This shows either gross ignorance of the issues or a deliberate misrepresentation of the facts.

As a people, we each have values. We have different values, or we may have similar values that we weight differently. For instance, we may value life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but not necessarily in that order. That’s all okay. I don’t expect you to have the same values as mine. I expect you to vote your values, and I will vote mine.

In the present case, for me, I completely support the individual rights of a person to make whatever lifestyle choices they wish. I promote individual rights and freedoms. However, when your lifestyle choices interfere with my lifestyle choices, we have a problem, don’t we? Does that make my choices wrong and yours right? Vice versa? Of course not.

The larger issues here are not whether or not homosexuals should be able to marry. If you don’t understand that, you haven’t been listening. There are indisputably issues regarding religious freedom, freedom of speech, parental authority, and education of children. They are indisputable and if you think not, you haven’t been listening or you’re being deliberately obtuse. That doesn’t mean you will agree with one side or the other! How the critically thinking individual will choose to vote on this issue will reflect their own deeply held personal values and the relative weight of those values.

For instance, a person who supports gay marriage may understand the impact that this will have on children in schools but feels that parental rights of how a child will be sexualized and educated on this issue are simply less important than the rights of the homosexual population to marry. Okay! Or perhaps that same person may agree with the parents rights regarding this issue, but feels strongly that churches should be stopped from teaching against homosexuality and therefore that person feels that trumping the religious rights is an important part of voting no on Prop 8 because they understand how it will eventually open the doors to hate speech litigation. Okay, that’s a valid strategy. Or maybe that person just believes that the right of the homosexual population to marry simply trumps all other rights! Okay! These are honest assessments and honest reasons for voting no.

On the other hand, a person who supports traditional marriage may feel strongly that individuals should have equal rights and protections under the law, but feels even more important are the rights of parents to oversee what their children are being taught in schools. Okay! Or perhaps they feel strongly that religious freedoms will be potentially jeopardized, causing individuals and businesses to be forced to actively endorse a lifestyle that they do not believe is morally correct; and therefore this value outweighs the equal rights value. Okay!

Values will have to be examined and weighted to make an informed and conscientious decision. These values may not be inherently wrong or right and it is possible for two tightly held values to be in conflict with each other at times. You can see that there are definite compromises that a thinking individual is going to have to make with regard to this issue. That does NOT make it okay to name call and vilify. That does not make it okay to mischaracterize the issues or to label people. That does not make it okay to be intolerant of other people’s values simply because you think you are espousing the politically correct view. My values are not more important than yours, and yours are no more important than mine. That’s why we live in a democracy where the majority will decide. But in the meantime, while we have this dialogue, let us refrain from “hate speech.” Interesting application of the word isn’t it?

See Andy Grow

Jamie posted photos and videos on her blog: Insert clever blog name here _______

Sunday Night

It's official. I have the cutest grandbaby in the universe. You can see photos posted by his parents here: http://onkenblog.blogspot.com/ Nick and Jamie brought my little Andy over today for us to hug and cuddle. This is the first time he's been to Opa's and Nana's house. We were lucky to have the Dubrow women come over and visit Andrew and they always bring such a special vibrancy to our home. Chelsea and Trenton came over and brought that silly dog Frankie with them.

This next week at work starts the new computer system which means that I will have my own personal "shadow" following me to all my work sites and assisting me as I learn the new software. I'm dreading it. I also realize that I will have to call and cancel with Troy this week and maybe the next since I can't very well expect my shadow to keep my usual Wednesday hours.

School seems to be getting more work intensive every week. This week starts week 8 of the semester which means I'm officially at the half way mark. I enjoy the discussions we have about nursing leadership, but I don't enjoy the health care finance stuff and the business planning. I do hate that school is taking so much of my free time, particularly now when I would rather be spending time with my little baby!

Is is SO HARD . . .

to go to work, or do homework . . . when there is a grandbaby calling for his Nana . . .

Nana Isn't waiting anymore . . .

Intoducing Andrew Nicholas Onken born 10/5/08 weighing 7 lbs. 15 oz.

Puppy Love!

The Business of Being Born!

Thank you Nick and Jamie for telling me about this wonderful film! I was so thrilled to see Ina May Gaskin and Michel Odent in this film. I was thrilled beyond belief to see a documentary that says EVERYTHING that women need to hear about birth and medicine. It talks about everything I used to teach in my childbirth classes. I became a nurse to become a midwife. In the end I left obstetrical nursing because I just felt like it was such a losing battle against the medical model. Yet even so I still feel very passionate these issues and am so thrilled that some people are still carrying the torch. I hope some day that the U.S. will get back on track with the way births are meant to be. We need to take birth away from medicine!! The Business of Being Born a film EVERY WOMAN should see.

Lonely!

Well Martin has been gone since Monday and won't return until Saturday. He's in Las Vegas at an RV convention thingy. He's having a great time. I'm here spending my time reading and writing for school and trying to prepare this Sunday's Relief Society lesson. Yep, that's my new calling - I'm teaching "Teaching for Our Times." Teaching RS was one of my favorite callings so I'm happy to be doing it again and I confess I'm happy for a once a month calling. This Sunday's lesson starts out by referring to the "light of Christ" and I've just totally gone off now on this tangent about what exactly is that light that proceeds from the presence of God and fills everything. If the glory of God is intelligence or in other words light and truth then I reason that light is intelligence from the presence of God. My ideas are half formed but moving in that direction and I'm interested to see exactly where it takes me. Go ahead and chime in if you have thoughts about it.

So, school. It's a lot of work. It is also mostly thus far about healthcare as an enterprise and that is not really a subject I am particularly interested in, however as I participate in these discussions, it certainly becomes slightly more interesting. Still, while I see the value of having this information instilled in doctorally prepared nurse practitioners, I don't particularly see the value of having it instilled in ME. I'm taking it one semester at a time. But I will say that there are other things that I should be doing: like exercising, and quilting, that are sitting on the back burner.

Speaking of quilting, I received an email from Mary Lou. She wants ALL of my storyquilts for the next book (no, I'm not being singled out for honors, she's asking all the "Asilomar" quilters for their storyquilts.) I need to fill out release forms. I've written to Rich Wyler to see if he's willing to share Might Marie (aka Marie the Mighty) and I'll need to ask Carolyn if she'll share Sailing On. Natalie and Chelsea I hope you'll shareI Do It and I am Not a Wimp as well. She also wants Puppy Love, but I haven't quite finished it. Nana In Waitingkind of pulled me off that track and now I need to get back on it to finish it in the next couple of weeks. And I haven't even thought about the TWO quilt ideas I have for my soon to be born grandson!

And speaking of grandsons, I told Nick the other day that if he calls people, the first words out of his mouth must be "no she isn't in labor" before he can go one because everyone will be waiting for THE call and me personally will be holding my breath until he gets to the point!! And of course neither he nor Jamie should go anywhere without a cell phone which they can immediately answer, or people will be calling Cedars-Sinai. But seriously Nick, it isn't that I'm not thrilled for your upcoming interview in Boston for the New England College of Optometry. Well, let me say not totally thrilled because I don't want you moving there. But thrilled for the honor of it :) (I know you are thinking exasperatedly "MOMS!"}

Carolyn: Haven't heard from her in two weeks and I'm worried. She's probably out of town and somehow that fact escaped me. But I'm still worried. I've emailed and telephoned. This makes me aware that I have no other contact information for her. When I finally do hear from her, I will ask her for a name and number.

Work is another subject and speaking of it now, I realize I'm going to be late so I better end here. Just know that I'll be meeting with another NP from the Ventura area who might have a job proposal for me and I just might be thinking about it . . .

9/11

I was just reading Heather Johnson's blog entry about September 11th and it really stirred up my memories of that day and the days that followed. While I am certainly not as eloquent, I will write what I remember: I was sleeping and the phone rang. It was Natalie calling me from Logan, Utah and saying "Mom, are you awake? Turn on the TV, someone has just attacked the Pentagon!" I asked her "Are we at war?" and she replied "I think maybe so." It absolutely terrified me. When I turned on the TV, I couldn't make sense of the images and stories. News people were all excited, there were images of the Twin Towers, there was fire and smoke and I couldn't really comprehend it. Where was the Pentagon? What were they saying? What was happening? I don't know how many minutes I sat there before my mind began to make some kind of sense of the images and sounds, and even then I could not comprehend it. And I couldn't leave the television. I was glued to it. All I could think about was my son was in a foreign country (Venezuela) and my daughter was in Utah, and it appeared that something horrific was occurring. It was much worse than the Oklahoma City bombing, whatever it was, and that had been awful. The nurse in me wanted to DO something, but I couldn't imagine what that would be. Some of the most enduring and terrifying images for me over the next days, weren't of the rubble, but of the lines of gurneys and waiting hospital personnel and NO PATIENTS!!

But I agree with the marine Heather quotes in her blog. The most amazing memory of all came the next day, and the weeks and months following that. The incredible rush of patriotism, the American flag flying everywhere, the immediate sense of community. Everywhere I went, everyone I spoke with or interacted with was simply kinder, gentler, almost reverent. Not just people in my classes or at church, but the guy at the drive through window at McDonalds, the people driving on the freeways, EVERYONE! The shared grief made us value each other more as Americans and as human beings. There was love in the air. It came from each of us and from all over the world. This is a lesson I wish had not dimmed from our memories so quickly.

Washington DC

Even though I was only gone for 4 days, it feels like I was gone for a week! The trip there was uneventful. I made it through the mass transit system fairly easily and checked into my really charming hotel that turned out to be just a few minutes walk from the Metro station and from the Hospital and classrooms I would be visiting. I was able to meet up with a few people from the group for "dinner and drinks" and get to know some of my new classmates. I met a woman from Long Beach, she teaches nursing at UCI. The following morning we met the entire group and the administrators of the program. Orientation was pretty much like every orientation, 2 parts boring, 1 part useful. The best part of the entire three days was meeting and beginning friendships with the other people in the cohort. There was another woman from this area, Diane, who lives in Canyon Country and is also a grad from the CSUN program! I really liked her and I'm glad I will have someone fairly nearby to commiserate with me. There were two young men from Utah in the group and while I didn't really get a chance to meet them, at least one of them I feel fairly certain is LDS. There were lots of really great people, a super fun gal from Austin, some great gals from NY, etc., and I am looking forward to getting to know them better. On Tuesday night I met up with Judy Witkin who is living in DC now. We got to have dinner together and it was nice catching up with her.

My trip home was lengthy (10 hours) but uneventful. When I first got to the airport, there was another woman from my cohort there and we were able to have lunch together which was very nice. Her name is Mary-Michael. I love that name! She used to live in La Jolla but she's now local to the DC area.

During this whole trip I managed to completely read the first two books of that vampire series Twilight. They are just so much fluff but kind of fun to read and amazingly speedy. So now I must finish the series very quickly before school starts next week.

And that brings me to the UGH factor, as in "Ugh, what have I gotten myself into?" Lots of work. We'll see!!

Nana In Waiting - a Short Story

A real "journal" entry - where is Mary Bartholomay?

There are lots of reasons I have for not being a journal writer. First, I’m not a good historian. I remember the overall impressions and emotions of events in my life, but rarely get all the facts right. Plus I’ve discovered over the years that memories are actually pretty plastic. The more often you retrieve them, the more altered they seem to become. Second, writing about myself seems so self-indulgent. My internal dialog is of course interesting, articulate and insightful – that is, until I put it down on paper. Then it’s just trite. And I’m hardly interested in reading about someone else’s daily laundry list of life so why would I bother to write my own down? I feel that way about therapy. I went to a therapist a couple of times. Talking about myself was incredibly boring and the more you talk about things, the more dangerously close to whining it becomes. Third and last I suppose is the time commitment. I’d rather be reading or sewing or SOMETHING!

So having said this, I thought I write a true journal entry. And remember what I said about memory and history and emotions. I can only write down the things as I remember them and the impressions or feelings I had at the time. I’m going to write about my friend Mary Bartholomay.

Right before I met Martin, I got hired as a legal secretary for a firm in Century City. There I met a young woman, probably just a year or two older than myself, who was working as a receptionist/office clerk. Her name was Mary Bartholomay. She was taller than me had big blue eyes and had a great mane of curly hair. I have often had good friends in my life with great masses of curly hair. I must be attracted to them for some reason. Or maybe people with hair like that are just more interesting. Anyway she wore cotton Indian dresses, walked at a fast lope everywhere and was incredibly well spoken and well educated. She was working on her masters in art history at UCLA. She lived in Venice, was originally from Northern California and seemed to be living a fairly bohemian lifestyle in that I mean she had few material goods and talked about things like chakras and literature. I think she came from old money (I remember something about her mother owning an island off of Yugoslavia? I swear I remember something like that) and like people who have had money in the past; she knew how to luxuriate in her impoverishment as a lifestyle statement. But heck, we were all impoverished and she was a starving student. I was in awe of her. She was funny, insightful and quick. I was impressed by her education and intelligence. She was my friend when I started dating Martin and I remember telling her about this “perfect man.” I asked her to be in the wedding and she declined due to the expense involved, but she came to the wedding and reception. I have pictures of her at the reception. She came to the little house in Calabasas and hung out with me on my birthday one year as a present to me. She worked at the Getty for awhile. A few years later when she was living in New York, she invited me out to spend some time with her for my birthday and so I went, taking a 4 month old Skyler with me. She had a cute little apartment in New Jersey and across the street was an Italian deli where I first tasted fresh buffalo mozzarella. She taught me about auras. While she worked, Skyler and I toured the city. It was a wonderful trip. Mary and I talked from time to time on the phone, she would call from New York. She was always working on her education and trying to decide on her next career move.

One day I got a letter in the mail from her. She was angry with me. She was breaking off our friendship. As I remember it, she said I had been insensitive of her aspirations and plans. I honestly did not remember the conversation she referred to. I still don’t. I was probably insensitive just as she says. I was up to my eyeballs in small children and fairly self-absorbed by nature. Not that I like to admit that self-absorption, but I suppose I’m not as bad as some and worse than others. I was oblivious. But I know I didn’t mean it and never intended to hurt her. I was just devastated. I tried to write her back. The letter had come from California so I knew she had gone back to live with her sister or something. I tried writing back but I don’t know that she ever received it.

Over the years I have thought of her and wondered how she was and where she was. With the advent of the internet, I’ve periodically typed in her name. It’s unusual enough that I don’t get a lot of hits. Until just a few weeks ago. And suddenly, in the strangest of places, I pull up her name on FACEBOOK!! Mary isn’t really a “Facebook” kind of gal, but yep, even without a photo, I just KNOW it is her. So with heart pounding, I send the friend request. And . . . she accepts it! I get excited. I wait a day or two and then write on her wall something like “I’d love to catch up with you” and then I wait. But she doesn’t write back. And sure enough in about a week or so, she drops off of Facebook altogether.

To this day I miss her. I feel terrible that our friendship ended badly and feel sad for whatever I did. I sometimes think that growing up as a military brat and moving constantly, always having these truncated relationships, that maybe I don’t really know how to maintain a long friendship. I have long friendships, but sometimes I think I should maintain them better and pay more attention to them. I have good friends but I don’t know that I AM a good friend. But I’d sure like a chance to be friends with Mary again.

That's the end of my journal entry. Maybe I'll try it again another time :)

August 14th

Okay, so I haven't posted anything in awhile. What's news? Not a lot. Jamie's shower was fun and well attended, and she raked in the bootie. My grandson will be well equipped. I can't wait to go clothes shopping for him, but I'm going to wait until he's here. Work has been busy, busy and I am not complaining. I am getting home later than usual and I'm tired at the end of the day, BUT I love feeling busy and useful and like I'm making a difference. I love feeling better and better about my ability to perform in my role.

Tonight I went to dinner with Lisa Hanson and I always love spending time with her. She really is my best friend and I forget sometimes that I need to spend time just hanging out with her and talking. It's so easy to let busy life get in the way of friendship. And then Lisa had the wonderful idea of going to visit Del Pike (she is so thoughtful that way) - we went and spent an hour just chatting with Del. Another fabulous woman who is very dear to me. Del is doing well so far, staying busy. But I know she will have plenty of adjusting to do over this next year or so.

I am getting closer and closer to my DC trip and I'm both excited and nervous. Nervous that I've bitten off more than I WANT to chew, but excited to go back to school.

One of the things Lisa and I talked about is the iPhone. She wants one and I encouraged her. I want one but have plenty of reasons NOT to get one. But I know I want one. Lynda loves hers and soon Lisa will have one and then I'll have gadget envy! LOL!!!

Nick, we got to talk about your great art work tonight. Del was commenting on the butterflies from Buena Vista and I got to brag to her than YOU designed the logo!! She was so pleased to hear that and so was Lisa.

Prego pictures

I took these pictures last night and already have gotten them back! They turned out really cute.
Go to her website http://www.bluelilyphotography.com/index2.php and the password under clients is Jamie

August

Well, I still haven't persuaded anyone else to post here, but thought I'd post again anyway. Skyler is in Las Vegas at his Black Hat convention and I'm glad he arrived safely. I'll be looking forward to his return and the full report. I'm sure he's having a ball! Sunday was a lot of fun having the Dubrows over and meeting Alicia. I thought Alicia was delightful! Good job Skyler.

I'm working on my "short story" quilt, and I'm so excited about it that I've put aside finishing Puppy Love. But I'm sure I'll be finished with Puppy Love before you know it. I might just get the short story all set up and then take it with me as a project to DC when I go in a few weeks. Although I have been thinking about taking the Twilight series of books with me as a light read.

Lots of fun stuff coming up this month: Jamie's shower, then her birthday, then Chelsea's birthday! Chels and Trent speaking in sacrament meeting, unfortunately the Sunday I'll be flying to DC :( I'm going to make them rehearse it in front of me on Saturday. And don't we have something already going on that Saturday? There's also a ward campout that Friday (the 22d). And I'm not entirely sure when Skyler has to head back up to Idaho but I know it'll be here before I blink.

We all must keep Natalie in our prayers that she finds a way to get her rent paid and that she can find a better job.

sleeping?

Ack! I really hate when my insomnia kicks in. It's almost 2 in the morning, Tuesday July 29th. Hard to believe this month is almost over. Skyler is home and it's great to have him here. Still trying to figure out if and when we get to meet the famous Alicia :)

My weekend in Long Beach/Anaheim was wonderful. I don't know that any of the quilts I saw were that inspiring - they were all lovely, but most of them were very "artsy fartsy" and nothing that inspired me to do something similar. I guess it comes down to what you find interesting or challenging about quilting. For me, while I can appreciate something painted on a piece of fabric beautifully and then quilting it . . . there's no real challenge there. It is much more interesting when someone takes fabrics designed and produced commercially and then uses that fabric to create new and interesting designs. That takes a special eye and a special way of looking at things - to make the ordinary more than what it is. I particularly like when a quilt takes a traditional block or concept and then puts a new contemporary spin on it, using color, value and technique to create something unique. So while I appreciate things that result from computer programs, painting, and embellishing with threads, when that is ALL there is to the quilt, it somehow just doesn't inspire me. I did see a small whole cloth piece that was beautifully hand quilted. I have to say that in spite of my definition above, when the quilting alone creates the art, that is beautiful to me as well. I understand that each person has their own individual relationship to the quilt and to the art. For me, it's in the process. I don't even care that much about actually owning the quilts because for me the challenge is in the process of making it. A quilt represents more than the hundreds of dollars in materials and hours and hours of time that goes into it because it's a way of trying to capture an idea and a feeling. I only wish that my quilts would come out looking the way I see them in my head!

I am delighted to report that, thanks to Lynda, I got excited about a wedding quilt design for Chelsea and Trenton AND I got the top completed. It will probably be awhile before it is quilted. It's much too big for me to quilt it and I will undoubtedly be on a long wait list for a longarm quilter. I want to send it to Bonnie Hunter in So. Carolina. She did Nick's graduation quilt and does beautiful work. The quilter in Iowa that I like isn't really quilting much anymore. There aren't a lot of people you can trust with a quilt so it's worth it to wait the time and spend the money for someone who will do a good job. The other good news (to me anyway) is that I have an idea for TWO quilts for my soon to come grandson. They are still in my head however, although I have the fabric for one of them. In other quilting news, I got an email from Mary Lou Weidman asking if I would be willing to create a very small storyquilt for a chapter in one of her new books. I have to complete it by October 10th, which is just around the corner so I have to think about it and feel the inspiration. The theme is "short stories" . . . I might do something about becoming a grandmother. I'm still thinking about it.

So besides sewing I also spent money at the quilt show. I bought a cool new thing for hanging quilts up, I bought some fabric, a new large cutting mat, some cool quilting threads, and a few other neat things. All in all, a good time!

On other topics: I'd like to plan a dinner here Friday night! This is a belated birthday dinner for Skyler. What shall we have? I want to keep it simple. And we need to invite the Dubrows. I'm accepting menu suggestions!

Ugh!

I'm on call today. Not such a big deal really because I just have to answer pages. I guess I'll go upstairs, work on Puppy Love and listen to King Dork which I've just about finished. The weather is awesome - overcast and cool. It'll probably burn off but right now I love it.

Brother Pike's funeral was nice. I saw Shayla Menzie from a distance. Lots of old faces. But because I was working, I didn't get to hang around. Sister Pike looked peaceful but I'm sure she's going to feel very lost once all her kids go back to their lives.

Today Skyler is off on his road trip - first to Seattle, then Vancouver, then down to Midden, NV (home of ALICIA!) then over to Santa Cruz before home. We'll be lucky to see him by the end of the week!

Lynda Carswell and I are supposed to go to the Long Beach Quilt Festival next weekend and make a long weekend out of it. I haven't heard from her in the last few weeks so I'm not sure if we're still on. If not, I will probably get to go to Ellie's birthday party.

Sunday

Ken Pike died yesterday. Dad and I got home yesterday afternoon from running errands to a message from Del. I was sad to hear the news. I wonder how Del will do. She's a strong and practical woman, but I know from my own experience with losing my Dad that, even though you think you've done all your grieving for losing the person to Alzheimers, when they actually die, it's still a blow. And for someone who has been caregiving as she has, I imagine it will be doubly hard. The Pikes have always been there as a steadfast part of living in Calabasas and being members of the Calabasas Ward. I have memories of Del coming to bring me a baked chicken when I had a broken ankle and two tiny children at home. I have memories of her being the Primary President when my children were small. Del and I were visiting teaching companions for a long time. I remember Ken just deciding to take my car and fix the brakes on it. I don't know how he knew I needed it or why he decided to do it, but I will never forget that. Simple, down to earth people. I am grateful to have known Ken and grateful for the friendship I have with Del.

I've been getting a bit of quilting done . . . not a whole lot, but some. I have been slowly working on Puppy Love. When I've finished the quilting there will still be some embellishing work and I'm not that good at that. I want to put eyes and a collar tag on Scooter and eyes on the teddy bear as well as some kind of laces or something on the shoe.

So am I the only one posting on this blog? Is anyone actually even reading it? We can't be THAT boring of a family, can we? I'll be glad when Skyler gets home next week to spice things up. I would like us to have a family dinner and celebrate Skyler's birthday. It will probably have to be during the week because I think the weekends are booked up. Suggestions please????

The 4th

Dad and I went to Santa Barbara for the 4th. We decided not to take an RV since it was just the two of us and Scooter. The weather was fabulous. We rented one of the surreys and pedaled around the bike path with Scooter in the front seat. We walked down State Street and I bought a really cute purse. Scooter fell into one of the street side fountains (with help from Dad) and looked like a drowned rat for awhile. Then we ate on the pier and found a bit of grass to pitch our chairs on and sat and waited for the fireworks. After about 8 minutes of fireworks, they stopped. Just stopped. We waited and waited and finally people started leaving and we did, too. We were about half way to the car when they got them working again and we got to see the rest of the spectacular from the street corner. It was as terrific as it always is. We're planning next year to go up the day before, camp in the RV and then park it and set up a BBQ area like so many other people do. We were surprised at how many people rope off HUGE areas for their picnic area. I guess it's squatters rights! Anyway we think it might be a lot of fun and maybe bring up our own bikes and stuff.

Scooter is still recovering. :)

Date Night in Rexford

July already?

So today I spent the evening at the urgent care trying to find out why I'm having palpitations and shortness of breath. The EKG looked fine - I'm just bradycardic (meaning my heart rate is slow), but I'm waiting for lab results and probably will have to wear a holter monitor unless the labs show something definitive. I don't know what it is and I'm not terribly worried. Still it's annoying to have these "jolts" in your chest like someone just scared you.

Dad is doing an alignment tonight so I'm alone and feeling bored. I need to go start on the machine quilting for Puppy Love. I'll probably work on that this weekend.

Dad and I are probably going to take an RV up to Santa Barbara early for the 4th and then hope people will take pity on us and join us for the afternoon/evening. I believe the Olsens are planning on coming, but so far that seems to be the only takers. Natalie? Are you going to be able to come?

Gratitude

I've been following Bronwyn's (Thompson) blog and her trials with her premature son. It's interesting to read and I'm glad to see that her little baby is doing so well. One of the things she's been doing is listing five things she is grateful for at the end of her posts. That seems like such a great exercise, I thought I'd try that to:

(1) I'm grateful for a good husband who is so patient with me
(2) I'm grateful for a job that I enjoy
(3) I'm grateful for the opportunities I have to continue to advance my education
(4) I'm grateful for the home I have
(5) I'm grateful for my health, the health of my husband, and the health of my children

Two years!

I think Jamie is onto a good idea. I think we should try harder to post here every now and then. I also think there's probably some way to connect the various blogs so that a post here (or there) could show up on another of these blogs. I need to explore the options and see if I can figure it out.

Look how OLD that photo is!!!! I'll look for a better one.

So Dad is outside working on the grill to grill up some yummy veggies. I think I'm addicted to grilled veggies these days. It was SO much fun having Chelsea and Trenton at church today and have them stay for the full block. Next Sunday is a Linger Longer . . . I'm going to bring Debi Dip . . . Chelsea, what are you bringing? And BTW, Chels and Trent, Dad says we're going to picnic in the park on Tuesday. Shall we bring sub sandwiches? What is Trent's school schedule - will he be around?

We should be getting photos from the wedding this week. I can't wait. Nick, can you feed your pictage stuff to the picasa site here? I'm trying to figure out how to share photos here.

This week should be busy between the picnic on Tuesday, the Layers Party on Thursday and Kristi's wedding on Saturday! What are the rest of you up to?

September already

Hey guys, we never post here anymore and I really think we should. It's Sunday and I'm kind of down and missing my wonderful family. I'm missing Skyler and Chelsea is in Las Vegas, but I'm excited that she'll be staying here at the house for awhile until she can find a better place to live. Just having her around will be fun for me.

We have our reservations for a cabin in Yosemite for Thanksgiving and I'm VERY excited about that, too.

Love,
Mom

Skyler's letters

I'll keep Skyler's letters posted on the blog I set up for him: http://elderonken.blogspot.com/. I put a link in the side bar, too.

Retake

The photos are all blurry due to the fact the camera was set on nighttime mode by accident. And of course there was a member of the family MISSING. So, I don't care if the cards are late this year, let's retake the photo at the next opportunity which I'm guessing is next Sunday.

The house looks nice and the tree is beautiful!

Mom

All I can say is . . .

Jamie I think it gets worse the older we get. You have my sympathies. Every time the thought of Christmas pops into my head, I squelch it as fast as I can before the butterflies in my stomach start up. I'll start thinking about Christmas next week.

Today Skyler got a letter from his mission president. You know it's totally cool that the MP and the office "couple" are friends of Carolyn Parker. Anyway, in addition to his already extensive list of things he needs to bring, they have added: a set of twin sheets and two pillow case and a towel and two washcloths.

He picked up his suits and pants today. He got himself a navy suit and a gray suit, and a pair of black slacks and dark olive slacks. The trench coat I bought him is beautiful. He ordered all his shirts and I've already purchased him several ties and three pairs of socks. He also ordered I think three more pairs of socks, a knit cap and a pair of gloves. Oh, and he bought two pairs of shoes. He needs more socks and ties as well as the bedding, a pair of pajamas, his garments and baptism clothing. And I think he needs his first aid kit and some grooming stuff, an umbrella ummm I can't remember now what else.

I found out my final is on Monday not Tuesday. So that means I have to study for it on Saturday instead of Monday. So, if we get the tree on Friday, I'm wondering if you're all up for decorating on Sunday? After Monday I am going to go into overdrive and try and finish my little quilt projects and do Christmas shopping. Wish me luck.

Maybe Sunday we can take the family photo?????????

Love, Mom

I think I am having a nervous breakdown

Wow, it is 12:01am and I am so tired but I can't fall asleep. I hate it when you lie down and all you can do is think! Think about what you need to do the next day or what you didn't do today, or just wondering about the strange things that pop into your head when you are so tired. Nick is still up working on school projects so at least I'm not lonely. The worst part about thinking about all these things is that I know I will forget half the things I thought of tonight that I need to do tomorrow. (I already can't remember what I was going to put on a list that I got out of bed to make) see? Now I will be up trying to think of what I have already thought of. are you following me? It is one big mean game that our minds play on us. It is really making me mad as I am sitting here writing about it. So I am going to do the one thing that I remember thinking of (water the christmas tree) and try to go to bed again.
jamie

Old photos

Here's a kind of interesting web site. This guy finds old rolls of film and develops them: http://westfordcomp.com/updated/found.htm

I'm Sad

Did we all give up on the blog? I think we should try renewing our interest in it. This may be the best way to stay in touch with our new missionary!

It's hard to believe it is December. I can never remember a time when I felt less like Christmas. I'm having a hard time focusing. When shall we get a tree? Does everyone want to do it together or shall Dad and I just go get one? Who will help decorate it? When shall we take a photo? Maybe we will skip the letter this year. It's been a really sad year for us - so many losses. What do you all think?

Gifts? I need a list from you guys (and Natalie, you have to put more than just "money" on your list :P)

xoxo mom

Finally... done...

From Venezuela

This is a letter from the most recent President of the Venezuela Maracaibo mission, that I received via a listserve:

Dear Elders and Sisters,

Well, today is October 23, 2005, and we can finally write and tell
you all what is going on here in Venezuela. Many of you have
already heard rumors, but we were not allowed to say anything.
October 19, MY BIRTHDAY! We received a phone call from our Area
Authority, Presidente Costa, stating that our missionaries were to be
on LOCK IN the next day. This was for ALL the 4 missions in
Venezuela. We were VERY surprised!!! The next night after a day of
LOCK IN we received another call that said to get all your North
American missionaries and any from other countries (we had one from
Ecuador) in to Maracaibo, THEY WOULD ALL BE REASSIGNED TO OTHER
MISSIONS!!! We were told NOT to say anything. We were told that the
Prophet and his counselors and the 12 Apostles had been in the temple
all day and they felt it was time to take all North Americans out of
Venezuela. Wow, we were really shocked and were still not allowed to
say anything. The N.A. missionaries were not allowed to call home or
write home, their parents were being called by someone from the
missionary committee in Salt Lake to let them know of the transfers.
Those who would be finishing their missions in December would be being
released NOW. Those who would finish in June would be re assigned to
serve in the USA, Spanish Speaking. Those after June were all
assigned to CHILE. We now only have 44 North American missionaries in
our mission. It has been almost a year since any new ones have been
allowed in.

On Saturday October 22nd Presidente Rogers along with all the other 3
Mission Presidents and all the Stake Presidents in this country were
to meet in Caracas with the Area Authorities for a meeting.
This meeting was to explain that this country and this country
only, was given permission to call WORTHY 18 year olds to serve Full
Time Missions!! WOW! When we think that many of our Latino Elders
have only been members for 1 year and that neither of their parents
are members, we are again surprised!! However, those missionaries
have been some of the BEST! When you have to make changes in your
life to become a member we find that they KNOW the Truth and they have
embraced the Gospel. Who knows, perhaps the Lord has risen up another
bunch of STRIPPLING WARRIORS! As you all know too, we have not been
able to receive any North Americans since last December. It is the
same old VISA problem. With that problem the numbers have continued
to go down.
So, the missionary force has to come from within! What an
opportunity for this country!! The work continues to move
forward!! WE have good converts, really good, lots of young
couples with small children!!

The morning of October 22, Presidente Rogers was taking out the
first group of missionaries to the Airport to leave and went over
to tell the Stake Presidents that were there to fly to Caracas for
the meeting good by and to have a great meeting. The Stake
Presidents had NO idea that President was leaving!!! They were just
SHOCKED!! They cried, asked why, couldn't believe it. This has
really been a shocker! There truly have been indications of something
like this but we are just all really shocked.

We are SOOOOOOOOO Grateful to have a Prophet who is a PROPHET, SEER
and a REVELATOR. We started this mission with 210 missionaries and
today we have 87. This is NOT the lowest this mission has ever seen!!
As I have collected a History of the past 10 mission Presidents of
this mission it has never been lower. Our replacement is Teodoro
Hoffman. He is the Director de Bienestar de Venezuela (welfare). He
is a past mission president and many people and even some of the
missionaries know him. He will be here until the new President is
called and comes in July.

Now this has NOT just affected our mission because we are the only
North American Mission President. Presidente Guerra, who is
presidente of the Valencia Mission, is also being sent home to
Chile, where he is from. He works with the Church Education System as
an Institute Director and will go back to his job. President David
Hoopes, and his counselor, Brother Johnson, serving in the Caracas
Temple are the only remaining North Americans in Church service
remaining in Venezuela as far as we know. They are okay because their
movements are restricted from apartment to the temple and can be
monitored easily. We will see if this changes in the future also.

As all this happens, we recall when President Rogers was set apart by
Elder Eyring and he said, "I bless you that there will be PEACE ENOUGH
that you may accomplish the things the Lord needs you to do". The
baptisms continue!! We are retaining MOST of those we teach and
baptize. This new program Preach My Gospel is a wonderful program.
The new Area Books are sooooooooooooo important in the progressing and
retention of new members.

We are so grateful to be a part of this Great Missionary Effort and
we just pray we are doing everything we should be doing.

We are VERY sad to go, we had so many things going and feel like we
wanted to finish them! The mission is in GREAT SHAPE! It can and
will handle this change with NO problems!! The missionaries here are
OUTSTANDING! We will be returning home by the end of next week. We
will sleep for a full week and then who knows what!

Take good care of yourselves!!!

Love,

President and Sister Rogers

I'm Green with Shades of Blue

I posted this over at Family Ties but I wasn't sure everyone would see it, so I'm posting it here, too. What color are you and how accurately do you think this describes you? I was a little surprised at how accurately it describes me.

http://www.albany.net/~mgoodman/color1.html

Yeah!

Skyler, I'm so glad you're home. I guess I just got a little taste of what it's going to be like in a few months when you're gone for two years :(

I'm excited that you have your interviews tonight. And I'm looking forward to hearing more about the Florida experience.

Love, mom

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Debi,
I hope you have a great birthday and look forward to your birthday dinner tomorrow night!

All alone, boo hoo

It's Halloween, I'm all alone and hiding from the Trick or Treaters. You'd think with all the lights off at the front of the house, they wouldn't bother to come to the door. But they do. I didn't buy any candy or anything. Bah Humbug.

Dad is somewhere in New Mexico or Arizona I think. Chelsea is out babysitting. I've just finished posting on the other blog about my amazing encounter with my boyfriend Paul McCartney. I am still having fun with that. One of the ladies on my quilting email list said that she has dibs on him because she saw him back before anybody ever knew about him. But I pointed out that she did NOT have him wave and wink at her personally like he did me, so I think she's out of luck.

Jamie has Billy Joel and I have Paul. Not bad. :)

I should go to Curves tonight but I am way too tired. Now I need to think about eating something. Tomorrow is my birthday but it doesn't feel like it's my birthday. I have a dentist appointment and I have to go out to Kaiser Panorama City to do some paperwork. It never ends. I probably even have homework I should be doing . . .

xoxoxo mom

Friday night blues

Jamie, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything works out for you at Samir's. You wouldn't want to have to waste those cute cards your Dad made for you :)

Nick I hope you're caught up on all the school work now. I have a test on Wednesday but I'm having such a hard time focusing on school work between the clinical rotations, work, and home life. And I have to prepare a talk on faith for next Sunday!!!

I think I mentioned I got started on my wall hangings for this year. They will be very cute. I think in general though, this is going to be one of those "let's cancel Christmas" years. I just can't even begin to think about preparing for it. Everyone wants Jamba Juice certificates, right?

Jamie, I think the answer to question about the cards is: do you like getting them? If you do, then you need to send them out. If you don't care about getting them, then don't bother. Did you find the label web site? I'm going to order some Christmas ones from them. I finally ran out of the old ones.

I had a long day today at my clinical site. I think I'm not feeling very well so I've been really tired all day long. And I'm lonely that Dad is out of town. He probably won't be back until sometime Sunday. I will look forward to everyone coming over then. I am hoping that Natalie will come and will bring Matt, but last I heard he hadn't given her an answer yet.

Tomorrow I have a long list of errands and things to do, including studying!!

Poor Nick

Nick has worked so hard all weekend and still didn't finish all that he wanted. I had to stay out of the house all day yesterday. It was hard to think of things to do when you don't have anything to do. It was dangerous for me, I went to the grove. First I went to Cost Plus. So many cute things! They have all their Christmas stuff out and I wanted to get everything! I had to call Jessica so she could tell me to leave because I couldn't do it on my own. But I did get some cute "happy holidays" cards for my clients. I can't decide if I should send out Christmas cards out to family and friends, I always like to get them but I don't know if I want to start that. Once you start you have to do it every year. Then I went to Forever 21 and I couldn't help myself! I got some new work clothes that I really needed, and I got some other things that maybe I didn't need so much.
Today I am going to start working for Samir. hmmm....I am not sure how this is going to work, but I need to give it a try. My wrist is starting to feel a little better, but it still hurts a lot. Thats about all I have to write. Bye

WHERE IS EVERYONE?

No one ever posts here anymore. :(

Dad is gone for the week bringing RVs back from the Katrina areas. I am trying to figure out my clinical schedule for school and getting ready to write a paper (tomorrow). Today at clinical I saw a bunch of dermatology patients and a couple of people with the flu. How exciting.

Actually what I did today for excitement was join Curves. I figure I might as well try it. I joined on a month to month basis to see how it goes and that way I won't lose any money for paying a bunch in advance and then not using it. I like the idea of a 30 minute work out although I'm not entirely sure that it works. I guess we'll see. A couple of weeks ago I was in the last few minutes of a Tai Chi class (long story) but let me tell you, I was sore for two days. I had no idea what a work out that could be.

I can't believe the holidays are around the corner. I've got lots to do if I'm going to get my annual wallhanging done. Would you believe that this is the LAST year? 12 years of those suckers. I'm doing little parasols for "April." They will be cute. I'm doing them using batik fabrics. I know you're all excited about that. ha ha ha

But at least I'm writing.

Love mom

What a week!

Geez, those fires got close. It's an interesting exercise to pack for an evacuation. What do you take? What is important? It's comforting in a way to discover that very little is irreplaceable - very few items are that important . . . some quilts, some photos, some personal papers . . .

Conference this weekend!

Love mom

All she said in her note was that she moved, she calls it her "new address" so I just assumed that i was a "new address" .

Just to let you know our Venezuela trip is coming along well...the guy I was waiting on finally wrote me back. It is a little hard to make plans with people over there. They are very slow or I guess I should say relaxed about things and they are not very traveler savvy.

Grandma's new address:
207-w Los Angeles ave #233
Moorpark, Ca 93021

Take a look

I found this blog about secrets fascinating. The human element is really quite touching. Even though some of the secrets are heartbreaking there is something to celebrate in the essential humanity revealed. It made me feel connected.

Sunday Morning

I'm sad that we've all sort of fallen away from reading and writing on the blog. Of course a few of us never did start writing but I'm hoping we can change that. It has been such a whirlwind summer for me I can hardly believe it is coming to a close. School starts for me in a couple of weeks and while I'm excited about it, I'm going to miss the work I've been doing with Buena Vista and being involved in the day to day functioning at work. The job has been a great challenge and project and I feel like I've managed to get the systems designed but not quite implemented. And of course like anything new, there will be many modifications that will need to be made once everything really is implemented and I'm afraid I won't be there to do the fine tuning.

Today since Dad is at an RV show I'm supposed to teach his Gospel Doctrine class. And it's kind of a boring one on the succession in the presidency. Just how much can anyone say about that anyway?

The Red Cross called me yesterday. They want me to work some more downtown and I said I would. I've decided that my time is so short that even if they did call to deploy me, things have just gotten too hectic. I'll have to content myself with working with the local Chapter when I can. I sure hope that they have things better organized when I get down there than they did last time.

Vegas Baby

Nick and I are going to Las Vegas on Saturday night. We will come home late Sunday night. We know that it is only for a day, but I really want to see Alyssa and Samuel! and of course oma and my grandma and cousins. We haven't decided if we are leaving before or after the concert thing. Right now we our leaning toward after so we can support Kristi and "Ashton Zayer." Well I hope you guys are not to upset that we won't be at the house on Sunday night I know how you ALL look forward to seeing us EVERY Sunday night, but I think you will make it though it. Just put our picture on the kitchen table or on the couch and pretend that we are there. Well, hopefully we will see you at the concert! love you guys!!!!!!!!